Introducing the Bluetooth Toilet of the Future

by Matt Klassen on December 21, 2012

Over the past year I’ve written a great deal about the advancement of the ‘connected everything’ digital lifestyle; the push to connect and unify all technological devices under one platform, your smartphone playing the role of facilitator for your own personal network. But there’s another move afoot to add devices that don’t traditionally contain technological components to the all-encompassing network of our lives as well, and the toilet is the latest to make the list.

In fact, while the smartphone has long been the entertainment companion of choice for those visiting the porcelain throne, its no longer Angry Birds or awkward emails that connect the two, as a new line of toilets from Lixil will soon turn smartphones into controllers of the commode.

Using Bluetooth connectivity and a companion Android application, users will be given minute control over the loo, using one’s smartphone to control flushing, optional bidet features, the music played, all while recording a diary of usage (yikes). Now about all the new toilet app can’t do is explain to me why I would want my toilet to do any of this.

Germaphobes and Android technophiles rejoice, I think you’re the only ones who would find a mobile app for your toilet desirable. That said, given the fact that an overwhelming majority admit to using their smartphones in the bathroom, perhaps it does make sense to give control over the facilities to the almighty phone.

From the promotional literature and including video provided by the Japanese company, it looks like the new Satis toilets and the accompanying Android app will provide users with a number of useful features aside from flushing; offering options like a diary to record usage, raising and lowering the heated seat, and even controlling the music you would like played through the toilet’s build-in speakers. (might I suggest a soothing selection from Enya’s expansive library).

Given all that is included in the new commode of the future, I was disappointed to not see some sort of motivational component to the Android app as well, as who doesn’t need a little encouragement every now and again.

Truth be told, despite my hesitancy in embracing this new way of interacting with the porcelain throne, I have to say it really comes as no surprise. As the ‘connected everything’ movement plods forward unabated it will invariably envelop every aspect of our lives, technological or not. In fact, consider this merely the natural advancement of technology’s control over both the private and public aspects of our lives.

Now just imagine a world where you never really have to touch anything again–other than that pesky smartphone touchscreen of course–moving from room to room in your house adjusting fridge temperatures, turning the TV off and on, flushing toilets at random, all while making sure your bed is set to optimum comfort while emailing your dresser to pick out your comfiest pair of pyjamas. I can only assume that’s exactly what life is like in Bill Gates’ house.

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